While in the hospital with my micropreemie, who was born three months prematurely at 17 ounces, I always hated when people told me that miracles exist, or God is good. That was fine if they believed that, but we both nearly died, and babies died around us every week. I heard a mother cry while her baby died in her arms next to me. Pregnancy and childbirth are not nearly as safe or clear as so many people, particularly the "pro-life people," would have us believe, and there are many reasons why a woman would want to, you know, not die and not have a baby.
We were definitely lucky. We wanted our kiddo very much. When I read stories like this one, about the world's smallest preemie, who only weighed almost half of what my baby weighed, who was born just a two weeks before mine was gestationally, I feel so happy for that baby's family but I also feel a lot of that stress, anxiety and fear come rushing at me again. At the time, I was as stoic as possible to get through it, and now it hits me at the most unexpected times. I wish everyone could understand what it's like to have life-threatening things happen to you and your baby, and what it's like to not have an Apgar, or even fit on the growth chart until the preteen years, or not be able to produce milk and so many other things that many parents go through.
I'm so happy for this baby, and when I think about what we went through I'm so grateful for the modern medicine and science, not to mention the time period in which we live, that saved both our lives.
Did you have a premature baby? Share your experience, if you like, in the chat.